Wisdom Books Song of Songs

Restored Marriage

Discover Jesus as: Bridegroom Song of Songs 6-8 Read on Bible Gateway (HCSB)

Day 486 of 730
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Teaching Notes

INTRO

This is lesson 122 in the Wisdom books and the third, and final, lesson in Song of Songs. It is one of the 1,005 love songs King Solomon wrote; this one is about his first wife—the Shulammite woman—whom he desperately loved and was attracted to. Any relationship will go through stages. Within the song, Solomon describes the states of courtship, the wedding ceremony, the marriage, the apathy that can come into the marriage, and then the redemption of it. Throughout the song, others, such as the Daughters of Jerusalem (Song of Songs 1:4b, 6:1, 6:13, 8:5) and the brothers of the Shulammite (Song of Songs 8: 8-9), added their comments and praises. And, in chapter 5, God added His blessings (Song of songs 5:1b).

When Solomon described the Shulammite woman using metaphors of Jerusalem and armies, he was saying she was the joy of everything. This is why he fell in love with the Shulammite. As we move through these verses, notice the process. Solomon pursued her with the anticipation of the marriage and having sexual relations with her. The marriage, once consummated, did not stay in the honeymoon period but eventually moved into apathy (5:2—6:13). Tom Constable outlined this process:

  1. “Indifference and withdrawal (5: 2–8)
  2. Renewed affection (5:9–16)
  3. Steps toward reconciliation (6:1–3)
  4. Restoration of intimacy (6:4–13)
  5. Communicating affection (7:1–10)”1

TEACHING

Song of Songs 7:1-9: Solomon described his wife’s beauty intimately in a way that satisfies Solomon (vv. 1-4). In verse 5, Solomon pointed out that she was royalty. These verses almost duplicate what Solomon first wrote when he was anticipating the physical intimacy of the marriage to come. Solomon described the blessings and gifts he received from the Shulammite woman (vv. 6–8). Even kissing her was like drinking fine wine (v. 9). With every word, Solomon created a picture of a relationship that had been revived and restored back to its beginning attraction and desire for each other.

Song of Songs 6:13b: In chapter six, Solomon described two camps or armies and used the story of Jacob and Esau to explain it (Genesis 32:1). Jacob was on his way to meet his brother after they had fallen out. God sent His army of angels to meet Esau and his army. This place of two armies coming together was named Mahanaim. This shows Solomon’s wife was viewed as a helping army that fought with him, not an enemy army that fought against him.

Song of Songs 7:10–12: In verse 10, his wife “expressed her loyal love for the third time.”2 This speaks of her love and devotion for him—that sexual attraction was on her side as well as his. She invited him to go to the country with her (v. 11), something he had asked her earlier that was rejected (Song of Songs 2:8–17). Solomon described his wife as fine wine (v. 9), and she wanted that wine to pour from her for his pleasure and satisfaction (v. 9, 12). She promised him her love (1 Corinthians 7:1–7). The wife was initiating sex with her husband and promising that they would try both old things and new things together (v. 13). Mandrakes were a pungently fragrant herb considered to be an aphrodisiac.3 Her growing desire for him increased sexual relations throughout their marriage.4

You may not have had godly relationships before. You may have suffered and even been abused. That is not the love that comes from Christ, and you do not have to put yourself in a position to accept that kind of abuse under the guise of love.

3 J. Cheryl Exum, Song of Solomon: A Commentary, (Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, 2005), p. 249; quoted in Thomas Constable, Dr. Constable’s Bible Exposition Study Notes: Song of Solomon, pp. 48–49.

CLOSING

Douglas Sean O’Donnell points out that when you’re thinking about marriage, marriage must be pure:

“Pure passion is patient.” It waits for the proper time and the proper person.

“Pure passion is pleasurable.”

“Pure passion is a protection against impure passion.” When a husband and wife are experiencing good sexual relationships, neither will have any desire for impure passion.

“Pure passion is a promotion of the Passion.”5 Coming together in passion and complete love of self, actually promotes The Passion of Christ. The world takes notice of our relationships! It all points to Christ.

Christ is the Bridegroom. He is excited to spend time with His church—His bride. “Husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word” (Ephesians 5:25–26).

  1. Thomas Constable, Dr. Constable’s Bible Exposition Study Notes: Song of Solomon, pp. 40–46; available at https://planobiblechapel.org/tcon/notes/pdf/song.pdf.

  2. John MacArthur, The MacArthur Bible Commentary (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Publisher), p. 751.

  3. Constable, p. 49.

  4. Douglas Seam O’Donnell, The Song of Solomon: An Invitation to Intimacy (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Publishers, 2012), p. 81.

Questions

  1. Song of Songs 6:10 describes the bride as one who was “bright as the sun.” Read Matthew 5:14–16. If we are the bride, how should we “shine” so we glorify our Father who is in heaven?
  2. Solomon mentioned the beautiful sandaled feet of his bride (Song of Songs 7:1a). Look at Romans 10:15 and Ephesians 6:15. Are your feet “sandaled” with the gospel of peace (Isaiah 52:7)? As part of the bride of Christ, how do you carry the good news to those who need it?
  3. The love spoken about by the bride in Song of Songs 8:6–7 is “as strong as death” and cannot be quenched nor rivers overflow it. How does this compare with Romans 8:38–39?
  4. What did the Holy Spirit highlight to you in Song of Songs 6—8 through the reading or the teaching?

Next: the Daily Word →

Daily Word

Laura Martin Song of Songs 8:6b–7a

“Love’s flames are fiery flames—the fiercest of all. Mighty waters cannot extinguish love; rivers cannot sweep it away.”

The bond of love in marriage is strong. Solomon and his wife displayed the balance of communication and sexual pleasure in their relationship of love. They went through a time of restoration and came back to enjoy each other like they had on their wedding night. To do so, they had to pause and get back to their first love.

God designed marriage for a husband and wife to enjoy pleasure and emotional and physical intimacy together like a “love so strong even a mighty river cannot sweep it away.” In your marriage, do you make time to communicate emotionally and physically connect intimately as one flesh as the Lord designed? Be honest. It is easy to let kids, work, and busy schedules get in the way of pursuing love with your spouse. But it is not an excuse. Today is the day to pray for resto- ration in your marriage. Say to each other: “Where has your love gone? Come back, come back, so I may look at you.” The Lord intended for your love to remain as one, united forever. Today, pray for a restored affec- tion, a restored communication, and a restored intimacy. First, seek the Lord together, and He will rekindle the flame of love. Step out in faith and love one another as Christ first loved you.

“Love’s flames are fiery flames—the fiercest of all. Mighty waters cannot extinguish love; rivers cannot sweep it away.”

— Song of Songs 8:6b–7a

FURTHER SCRIPTURE

  • Song of Songs 6:1,13a— “Where has your love gone, most beautiful of women? Which way has he turned? We will seek him with you . . . Come back, come back, Shulammite! Come back, come back, that we may look at you!”
  • Ephesians 5:25–26— “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word.”
  • 1 John 4:19— “We love because He first loved us.”