Love, Listen, Discern, And Response

INTRO

Here we are, lesson 108! That are a lot of lessons in wisdom literature. The first wisdom book we talked about was the book of Job. From there we looked at the book of Psalms mostly written by David. Now we are in the book of Proverbs, which was written by David’s son Solomon. Next week we are going to get into Ecclesiastes and the Song of Solomon. What is interesting about the book of Proverbs is that Solomon discusses so many different topics. If you can hang in there, I think you will realize that there are practical life truths that could change your life.

TEACHING

Proverbs 18:1: Anyone who isolates himself for selfish desires or self-preservation will eventually be found out. Look at all the leaders, Christian and non, in the last few years who have fallen, after their poor behavior was exposed. If you begin to isolate yourself and pursue selfish desires, destruction is coming. Isolation is not good. God designed us to be a part of the body. Nelson’s Commentary states that one indicator of an isolated person is that he becomes “so intolerant of anyone who disagrees with him that he finds fault with all wise judgment.”¹ If you are always right and everyone else is always wrong, step back and look at your life.

Proverbs 18:2: When you isolate yourself, you begin to go into this compulsive talker mentality, which keeps you from hearing and understanding other’s opinions. Nelson’s Commentary states, “A compulsive talker never listens, only pausing to plan what he will say next. Every speech confirms what a fool he is.”² This type of talking is called cheap talk. Cheap talk is full of meaningless words that are readily available. Nelson’s Commentary provides how to evaluate our words and stay away from cheap talk:

• “Sometimes the wisest course is to keep quiet. We need to weigh our thoughts and words carefully if we intend to be helpful (Proverbs 11:2).”³ When you humble yourself and open yourself up to what people in your life have to say, that is wisdom.

“The one thing we never want to talk about is a confidence with which we have been entrusted (Proverbs 11:13).”⁴ You don’t ever want to be the one to go around sharing information someone has given to you. We don’t want to be gossips or spread rumors. A trustworthy person keeps confidences. Sometimes Christians can hide gossip in prayer requests. When in doubt, shhhhh!

“If we know how to use words, we can accomplish noble ends.”⁵ We need to watch our tone in what we are saying (Proverbs 15:1-2). God has designed us with our own unique personalities. We don’t want to try to be like someone else. We want to become better versions of ourselves by speaking words that are loving and kind.

“We need to watch what we say. Our mouth can get us in trouble (Proverbs 18:6–7).”⁶ When in doubt just stay quiet.

“If we give our opinion on a matter before hearing the facts, we will tend to bring shame on ourselves (Proverbs 18:13).”⁷ We act like we are the experts of everything. If there is humility, we will receive what God is saying to us and how to respond.

“Talk is cheap, but easy talk can be expensive. Saying the wrong thing at the wrong time can lead to unfortunate consequences (Proverbs 18:21).”⁸ Again, when in doubt, please just stay quiet. Just tone it down a little bit. As important as it is to speak carefully, we also need to listen carefully. If you want to grow in the Lord, you need to be open to what others are saying.

Proverbs 18:8: Gossip is like a poisoned Oreo cookie; it looks delicious, but it’s toxic. Gossip seems fun and irresistible, but it’s toxic to you and those you are gossiping about. Be careful what you release and be careful with what you’ve been entrusted. If someone is releasing gossip, don’t receive it. You have to be strong enough to tell someone you don’t want to hear it. Receiving and spreading gossip will mess up your inner self. This is a hard truth to receive. But when we refuse to listen to gossip, that’s when we start walking with integrity.

Proverbs 18:9–11: The lazy man runs toward destruction; the righteous man runs toward the Lord. A rich man trusts in their wealth to make them untouchable (Luke 12:13–21).

Proverbs 18:12–13: It is crucial that we love, listen, discern, and then respond. Sometimes with the gospel we are quick to tell people what they need without listening to their story.

Proverbs 18:14–15: “Sickness can be overcome, but there is no medicine for a broken spirit (Proverbs 15:4; 17:22; Isaiah 66:2).”⁹ The wise keep learning. Learning to listen, to talk, to love, and to discern.

Proverbs 18:16: This verse speaks to my heart: “A gift opens doors for a man and brings him before the great.” When you give generously, that gift gives you a window into that person’s life. Whether its money, eggs, a car, or your time, a generous gift gives you an “in” with a person or group. Once that door is open or that relationship established, God can use you to share His word. This is not a motive but reality. The more you sow and start opening doors, the more God will give you opportunities to open doors. We receive gifts from the Lord to bring glory to Him.

Proverbs 18:19–20: Back to talking! When there is offense with a family member it is really hard to overcome. It is especially important to love, listen, and discern with your family. Americans talk a lot. How many other things do you do as much as talking during the day? Talking is pretty important. I want to encourage us to glorify the Lord with our body, including the tongue. We will be held accountable for every careless word we’ve spoken (Matthew 12:36). When in doubt, apologize when you have been careless with your words.

Proverbs 18:22: New topic: marriage! I was hoping to have more time with this; unfortunately, that is not the case. So, here is Marriage 101 in 30 seconds. A wife is a good thing. It is not good for a man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). Where do we get all these statements? From Scripture (Genesis 2:18; Proverbs 18:22; Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). Two is better than one. I don’t know your experience. I just know that marriage has made my life better.

CLOSING

I love Solomon because sometimes it feels like he is writing with ADD (attention deficit disorder). That’s why these verses can be applicable to everyone.