Tame Your Tongue

INTRO

This has kind of been a random week. Our study of the book of Proverbs has been all about golden nuggets of divine principles and practically applying them to our life skills. What I really hear throughout the book of Proverbs is a father talking to a son. From a broad perspective, Solomon gave general advice for everyone. These are practical illustrations. Our one word for this book is Wisdom, which we’ve seen throughout this entire book. This wisdom points to Christ (1 Corinthians 1:24, 30).

TEACHING

Proverbs 13:1: A wise son listens to the father’s discipline and does not mock or rebuke it. God is dealing with us as sons and daughters (Hebrews 12:7). Fathers are expected to discipline their children. There is a value to discipline.

Proverbs 13:2–4: We must be careful about the words that come out of our mouths. You don’t have to say everything all the time. We need to watch what we say. Do you always have to have the last word? Do you share your opinion on everything? Do you say hurtful words in the spirit of competition? Do you always have to be right? Do you hurt others with your words?

In my own family, we struggle to tame our tongues. When I tell you this, I’m trying to be transparent, and it is something my family and I struggle with. Everyone has areas in their lives that are their weak points; this is one of ours. If you struggle with the words that come out of your mouth, look at Luke 6:45 and James 3:6-8.

Whatever we say is coming from our hearts and goes to our tongues. What we do with the words on our tongues can uplift or destroy like fire. It is imperative that what comes from our mouth is of the Lord. I want to walk through ways to tame the tongue. James Fraser of Brea provided 12 ways to tame the tongue :¹

1. Speak no sin.

• “Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from deceitful speech.” (Psalm 34:13)

Speak to edify.

“I tell you that on the day of judgment people will have to account for every careless word they speak.” (Matthew 12:36)

“Coarse and foolish talking or crude joking are not suitable, but rather giving thanks.” (Ephesians 5:4)

Speak sparingly.

“When there are many words, sin is unavoidable, but the one who controls his lips is wise.” (Proverbs 10:19)

Be slow to speak. “My dearly loved brothers, understand this: Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” (James 1:19)

Speak with restraint.

Don’t be loud and defiant/clamorous. “She is loud and defiant; her feet do not stay at home.” (Proverbs 7:11)

“These people are discontented grumblers, walking according to their desires; their mouths utter arrogant words, flattering people for their own advantage.” (Jude 16)

Jesus said He would not argue or shout. “He will not argue or shout, and no one will hear His voice in the streets.” (Matthew 12:19)

Speak without haste.

“The mind of the righteous person thinks before answering, but the mouth of the wicked blurts out evil things.” (Proverbs 15:28)

Speak reverently.

We can speak reverently with authority when our actions show we have been with Jesus. “Because He was teaching them like one who had authority, and not like their scribes.” (Matthew 7:29)

“When they observed the boldness of Peter and John and realized that they were uneducated and untrained men, they were amazed and recognized that they had been with Jesus.” (Acts 4:13)

You are an ambassador for Christ. It is hard to get to this point unless you are spending time in His presence.

Speak in faith.

Because we believe we have the right to speak in faith. “And since we have the same spirit of faith in keeping with what is written, I believed, therefore I spoke, we also believe, and therefore speak.” (2 Corinthians 4:13)

“I believed, even when I said, “I am severely afflicted.” (Psalm 116:10)

When you are struggling, ask the Lord to increase your faith.

You can speak about what you’ve seen and heard, about what God has done in your life. “What we have seen and heard we also declare to you, so that you may have fellowship along with us; and indeed, our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ.” (1 John 1:3)

We want to speak so that others will come to Christ.

Speak prayerfully.

Bless what I am about to say. “Then the king asked me, ‘What is your request?’” (Nehemiah 2:4)

Speak wisely

“Let the message about the Messiah dwell richly among you, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, and singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, with gratitude in your hearts to God.” (Colossians 3:16)

Speak in fear.

“I said, ‘I will guard my ways so that I may not sin with my tongue; I will guard my mouth with a muzzle as long as the wicked are in my presence.’” (Psalm 39:1)

Speak with kindness. “Who does not slander with his tongue, who does not harm his friend or discredit his neighbor.” (Psalm 15:3)

Speak without self-praise.

Let someone else praise you. “Let another praise you, and not your own mouth—a stranger, and not your own lips.” (Proverbs 27:2).

CLOSING

“Dear God, I pray we would be men and women of God who would learn to control our mouths; that we can edify and glorify you. Help us to be men and women of prayer. Help us to always point others to you. Amen.”